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Smoke Free; Extra Angry

So I’m on day #9 of quitting and I haven’t had a cigarette since around 10 AM yesterday, the 29th. In general, I’m fine. Certainly no nicotine cravings to speak of, so Chantix is doing its job. My mood is…well…a bit altered. I’m definitely much quicker to snap when annoyed, and in this regard I wasn’t terribly slow to begin with, so…

Case in point, the garage door (which we’ve had issues with for at least the last 3 months) refused to close on Saturday night. We were leaving to get to a surprise birthday party, so of course being late was not really an option. And the damn door wouldn’t close.

I completely lost it - yelling…no, SCREAMING…at the door, demanding to know WTF its problem was, why the @#$! it can’t work just ONE time, etc, etc, etc… Definitely not one of my finer moments, and I suspect Nolene was considering which hospital to call to have me committed. Of course, the door was just doing its job. The sensor had gotten bumped and, unlike our last opener which wouldn’t move at all in such a case, the new one would start closing and then quickly stop and reverse itself. Took two seconds to adjust the sensor, and pushing the button again resulted in a fully closed garage door. Crisis averted.

Crazy thing is, I was well aware of my own insanity. I was completely embarrassed by my own behavior after the fact. I’m pretty sure I recognized how ridiculous it was to get worked up while I was getting worked up, but I couldn’t doing anything about it; couldn’t stop myself from losing it.

So…in the interest of sparing my wife from having to put up with my new, more-insane-than-usual personality, tonight’s Chantix dose will be my last. Nolene managed to quit both smoking and the Chantix around day 5 or 6 and, though I realize this isn’t a contest, surely I can continue to avoid smoking without finishing the 12-week drug regimen.

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